Continuing Paradise

With a honeymoon in a place called the Garden of Eden—an idyllic island amongst the beautiful Seychelles in the Indian Ocean—one wouldn’t be surprised that the wedding of Lisa and Harvey Tipler in the Cotswolds of England was a bit like paradise as well. Paradise is not necessarily a perfect place, but it is where our hearts open and intimacy is possible; where Mother Nature delights our senses and brings pleasure and peace to our inner spirit. And for Lisa and Harvey, paradise is also where friends and family connect to share precious rituals of life in a chosen place of heritage and ceremony.

The Beginning
Lisa Graves met Harvey Tipler on a blind date. Both natives of Alabama, she had just graduated from college and he was a well-established attorney living in California. They were a “grown-up” couple with friends all over the country. “Grown-up” is what I call a bride or a bridal couple, if not of a certain age, but of a certain independence. And certainly being of an independent and creative nature, Lisa and Harvey began planning their wedding soon after his proposal in the Rainbow Room in New York City.

“I don’t remember which one of us asked, ‘What about England?’ when we were deciding the location of the ceremony,” Harvey said, “but it just felt right.” The decision to have their wedding abroad set off a complicated long-distance planning process. Lisa and Harvey had both spent time in England—he had lived there a short while when opening a law office in London—and they each admired a culture where respect for its heritage and ancient rituals was deeply rooted. “We wanted to have a wedding celebration that expressed the depth of our relationship in every way,” Lisa said.

One of Harvey’s London friends, Linda Nash, became the couple’s local coordinator and contact for the wedding, handling everything from locating the “perfect” village in the Cotswolds for the wedding festivities to pulling out all the stops in order to have the Archbishop of Canterbury himself issue a dispensation to allow Lisa and Harvey to marry in England. This last minute intervention was necessary even though Lisa, committed to having her wedding ceremony in a place rich in history and mythology, went to live in England for a short time in order to meet the residency requirements.

The Gown

Lisa's gown by Christie Hudson

I first met Lisa—tall, slim, an angular beauty—when a mutual friend brought her into my former “art-to-wear” shop in Atlanta for a consultation about a custom bridal gown. “After we chatted awhile, Cornelia asked me what I wanted to look like as a bride,” Lisa recalled. “I answered, ‘Tinkerbell’ and when Cornelia asked, without missing a beat, ‘Walt Disney or Spielberg’s Julia Roberts?’ (Stephen Spielberg’s movie Hook had just opened), I knew I was with someone who understood subtle design distinctions and would be able to give me what I wanted. (And by the way, my answer was ‘Walt Disney’—I wanted to look ethereal, like a fairy princess!)” This initial meeting paved the way for a magical connection with couturier designer Christie Hudson, now of Madison, Georgia, who I thought would be a perfect match for Lisa, creating the elegantly enchanted fairytale gown she envisioned. From the initial sketches, selection of fabrics—white silk organza, shimmering tulle, golden French lace—then progressing through several fittings, the vision began to take shape.

Custom fittings in my former shop could be sweet, intimate gatherings which became a supportive component in easing the bride’s rite-of-passage. This womanly group ritual included silk pins, three-way mirrors, lots of analyzing fit and figure, along with chatter and laughter, and a bit of feminine mystique. For her last fitting, Lisa tried on all the elements for a pre-wedding day run-through: the gown, like floating layers of moonlight; along with the designer’s headpiece and veil, fit for a midsummer’s night Queen; then topped off with jewelry—a surprise gift from the groom—of delicate white gold and pearls. The designer et al declared their mission of creating a vision complete!

In the Cotswolds
Thirty-five or so friends and family members gathered in early September for several days of wedding festivities in and around the village of Lower Slaughter in Gloucestershire. The whole entourage stayed at an old manor house inn near St. Mary’s church. After a week of English rain, the wedding day itself was a glorious one of emerging sunshine and continued high spirits.

During the busy week, a local tailor came to fit the men, guests and attendants alike, in morning suits and top hats. The morning of the wedding was set aside for old-fashion customs. Lisa’s four attendants and her mother gathered to attend the bride in their own rituals of primping, eating, having a spot of tea, and last minute wardrobe tweaks, along with reading aloud—at the bride’s request—a favorite verse. The only pre-ceremony “visit” by the bride and groom, Lisa admitted, was when Harvey came into her bedroom where the ladies were gathered (with his eyes closed) so she could “fix his hair.”

The Wedding
“My mother recalled that I was descending the grand staircase of the manor house just as the old Grandfather clock in the hallway struck four o’clock. She was waiting along with the housemaids in their starched white caps and aprons at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me, and then I knew I was ready for my wedding,” Lisa remembered.

Other sounds of another time and place echoed in the luxuriant green setting along the tranquil River Eye as Lisa crossed the lawn and entered St. Mary’s church on the arm of her father. For the service, a dear friend of the late Princess of Wales sang Piet Jesus and the minister read, at Harvey’s request, Sonnets from the Portuguese No. 22 by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. After the ceremony, Lisa and Harvey signed the church registry joining the other recorded names of couples married heretofore, a historical reminder of love’s agelessness, if not permanence. Sprigs of heather had been laid across the church threshold in an ancient ritual, encouraging the couple to cross over into happy blessings.

A festooned Highland bagpiper—honoring the couple’s Scottish heritage—escorted Lisa and Harvey across the lawn to the reception, where the sensory celebration continued. An all male chorus sang old Scottish hymns and Elizabethan-costumed singers and musicians performed, even teaching the bridal party and guests medieval dances on the lawn. “One of my favorite moments of the day was when—standing beside my mother at the reception—the bagpiper played her favorite hymn, ‘Amazing Grace’,” Lisa recalled. The bridal attendants, dressed in translucent white chiffon, left the fragrance of their large garden picked bouquets of flowers and herbs—white roses, calla lilies, and yellow dill—wherever they strolled, mixing with the scent of the English heather.

There was even a full moon rising as the festive afternoon turned into evening, its peaceful energy blessing the union of the friends and lovers, now husband and wife. The wedding magic experienced here lives forever.

Lisa, Harvey, and Jemison Tipler

Family Like all weddings, this was the ending of one transformation, yet the beginning of a new rite-of-passage for Lisa and Harvey. None of these heavenly experiences—this precious wedding time in the green hills of Gloucestershire nor their azure island honeymoon—could have prepared them for the extraordinary gift two and half years later. Their daughter, Jemison Locke Tipler, was born on January 15, 1998. Lisa and Harvey’s life now includes family rituals designed to continue reconnecting the inner spirit to what brings true pleasure and joy.