The relationship of mothers and daughters holds all the dimensions of the universe in its form and character. Weddings reveal the strengths and weaknesses, the tone and temperament of this primal relationship. The nature of ritual has in its design a way to touch our most tender places. Therefore, moving through the process of wedding planning can bring up emotional scars, sensitive areas ready to be healed. Weddings are a great opportunity to heal hurts and complete unfulfilled expectations from the past, forgiving whatever stands in the way of our expression of deep gratitude.

Priscilla Wannamaker

Everything in the universe has a tone or vibration uniquely its own—from people, to rocks, to emotions—and gratitude has the highest vibration, even more than love. “A thankful heart is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all other virtues,” the Roman philosopher, Cicero, said over 2000 years ago. When we express gratitude, we are more capable of making deeper connections, affecting profound changes, and removing any blocks that keep us from love.

Weddings offer the possibility for mothers and daughters to deepen or restore their connection to each other through participating in activities that have the quality of ritual. One hundred years ago this may have happened through the act of making a gown together; two hundred years ago it may have been the shared experience of stitching trousseau linens for the bride’s new home; today it may be venturing out to try on dresses with each other—leaving judgment at home and being okay with whatever is selected.

Mothers and daughters are perhaps the most powerful yet delicate of couples. Even without words, it’s a relationship that communicates beyond knowing and reason into the language of the wise and mysterious. One way to strengthen and soften this connection is to take author Stephen Levine’s advice to heart: “Go to the truth beyond the mind. Love is the bridge.” And gratitude leads the way.

© 2003 Cornelia Powell, all right reserved.