ary Zukav, in his bestselling book, The Seat of the Soul, speaks eloquently about spiritual partnerships and trust:

“The archetype of spiritual partnership—partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth—is emerging within our species. This is different from the archetype of marriage which was designed to assist physical survival, and in which the partners do not necessarily see themselves as equals….

“Individuals that bond in spiritual partnership and choose to express their bond through the convention of marriage infuse the energy of spiritual partnership into the archetype of marriage, and thereby create new values and behaviors within marriage….

“You begin to set aside the wants of your personality in order to accommodate the needs of your partner's spiritual growth, and, in so doing that, you grow yourself. This is how spiritual partnership works.

“You begin to see that what is necessary to the health of your partnership is identical with what is necessary to your own spiritual growth, that each of you holds the pieces that the other is missing.

“You learn the roles of love and commitment and trust in making your partnership work. You learn that love alone is not enough, that without trust, you are not able to give and to receive the love that both of you have for each other.”

 

“ Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admint impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alterations finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! It is an ever fixed mark. ”

- William Shakespeare,  Sonnet 116 (excerpt)

 

“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.”

- Joseph Barth

 

“Marriage should be a duet—when one sings, the other claps.”

 - Joe Murray

Jane L. Mickelson, a cultural mythologist living in Northern California, wrote in the article, “The Tale of Baucis and Philemon” in the Spring 2004 issue of Parabola magazine:

   “It would be difficult to find a human relationship that embodies a greater complexity than marriage—with its blend of the civil, social, spiritual, and physical—and stories reflect this.”

“The purpose of relationship may not be what you think.

“If you are excited about forming a relationship based on what it looks like you can get, rather than what you can give, you have started off on the wrong foot entirely, and you could be heading for a big disappointment.

“The purpose of all relationships is to create a sacred context within which you can express the fullness of who you are. And who you are is an experience you have before you enter relationship, not because you did.”

After the Wedding POSTSCRIPT: If you have read Weddings of Grace before, then you may know that I am an admirer of the New York Times Sunday column “Vows”...stories about a couple’s recent wedding and how they met. Accompanying the column on a random basis is a sister story by Lois Smith Brady called “State of the Unions” which is a several years later follow-up to one of the couples. Perhaps you’ll find lots of “after the wedding” tips in the lives of these couples!

PHOTOGRAPH BY: Julie Mikos